Finding Joy in Everyday Moments and Why it Matters for Your Baby

The advice to "enjoy every moment" of early motherhood can feel invalidating when you're struggling with sleepless nights and endless diaper changes. As a psychologist and mother, I want to assure you: it's normal and okay not to enjoy every moment.

However, finding moments of joy amidst the challenges is crucial for your well-being and your baby's development. Neuroscience shows that positive experiences strengthen neural pathways, enhancing your capacity for joy over time. During matrescence, a developmental stage from pregnancy through the first year postpartum, your brain is particularly receptive to forming new habits and associations. This presents a unique opportunity to intentionally cultivate positive experiences, even in mundane tasks.

Why Joy Matters for your Baby's Health

Your ability to enjoy simple moments with your baby will improve the early relational health of you and your child. Early Relational Health is about giving children the start they need for lifelong well-being, it starts at the very first interactions an infant has with caregivers. The American Academy of Pediatrics describes early relational health as the ability to grow and maintain a safe, stable, and nurturing relationship between caregiver and baby. This relationship can protect against the harmful effects of early life stress and allow for healthier brain development and better long-term physical and mental health.

Early relational health is developed through everyday supportive, protective, and nurturing interactions that help children feel safe, connected, and confident. These everyday — yet very impactful — interactions can look like you and your baby simply staring at each other or the tone of your voice as you talk or sing to your baby. Verbal and nonverbal expressions of joy and closeness between parent and baby can make deep and lasting impacts on everything from educational achievement to lifetime health (Li & Ramirez, 2023).

A Mindfulness-Based Approach to Finding Joy

How can we find joy even when we are challenged constantly by our baby and by the demands of early motherhood? Try this: Choose a daily caregiving activity and practice mindful presence. Notice the sensations, sounds, and your baby's expressions. Did you baby smell absolutely delicious as you snuggled him this morning? Did you appreciate that moment of connection when your baby smiled at you while she played with her stuffie? What moments of hidden joy will you find today? Over time, this practice can transform routine tasks into meaningful moments of connection and joy.

Remember, the goal isn't to enjoy every moment, but to find moments of joy that nourish you and your relationship with your baby.