How to Know When Baby Blues is Really Depression

Upon reflecting on my own motherhood experience, I often wonder whether I was depressed or clinically anxious during pregnancy and the first years of being a mother? As a psychologist, you would think I would know that answer to that question, but I don't.

In this article we delve into the nuanced difference between matrescence — the developmental process of becoming a mother to a new child— and clinical depression.

As an important disclaimer: If you have any questions about whether you are struggling with a mental health disorder, please check in with your health care provider.

While matrescence is challenging for most women, depression represents a clinical condition that goes beyond the normal adjustment process.

Key differences include:

Duration and Severity

Normal matrescence involves emotional fluctuations that tend to ebb and flow, with challenging feelings interspersed with positive ones. In depression, negative emotions persist more consistently and intensely over time.

Functioning

The challenges of matrescence may be difficult but typically don't completely undermine a woman's ability to function or care for herself and her baby (emphasis on "completely" because caring for yourself and a child is HARD). In depression, functional impairment is more significant.

Connection with Baby

Matrescence typically involves a range of feelings about motherhood, including moments of deep connection alongside feelings of being overwhelmed. In depression, persistent feelings of disconnection, detachment, or even thoughts of harm may be present.

Self-Concept

The identity questions of matrescence center on integration and adjustment: "How do I incorporate motherhood into who I am?" In depression, self-concept often becomes more negatively distorted: "I am a terrible mother" or "My baby would be better off without me."

Supporting Your Journey Through

Whether you're experiencing the normal trajectory of matrescence or require additional support for depression, these strategies can help:

• Educate Yourself — Understanding the neurobiological and psychological changes of matrescence can provide validation and normalize your experience.
• Build Community — Connect with other new mothers who can validate your experience and share in both the challenges and joys of this transition.
• Practice Self-Compassion — Remember that becoming a mother is one of life's most profound transitions — be gentle with yourself as you navigate this journey.
• Seek Professional Support — Whether for preventative support through matrescence or treatment for more significant concerns, working with a perinatal mental health specialist can be invaluable.

Regardless of where your motherhood journey takes you, remember you are stronger than you know. It just may take time to move through this season.